Mustang calls this presidential race a beauty contest. This is some disturbing imagery painted by my good friend and not very healthy for holistic health purposes. Why? Because I find the thought of either of these two candidates in a swimsuit to be excruciatingly nauseating, to the point that many of us could fail to reach self-actualization as a result of such putrid thoughts.
What I am willing to call it, though, is "a popularity contest". And with that in mind, I have a proposal that will help the American people by shortening future races greatly, so we do not have to endure another lengthy process that has our neurons fried and our neural synapses severely compromised to the point of incoherent babbling. I can settle this thing in a time span of 12 weeks, as opposed to two years.
We start out with 12 candidates. Each week they meet to tell us why they should be chosen. The show is held live in Disneyland on Tuesday nights, with voting commencing immediately after the show. On Wednesday nights, we have the results show in which one candidate is eliminated and voted off of Space Mountain.
We do this until there is one candidate left standing. He or she will then be crowned America's Presidential Idol and awarded a nice house in the middle of Washington DC to live in, a meager salary with a open expense account, and allowed to make decisions that affect the entire world.
Repeat every four years. Limit one term.
May God bless America and thank you for your support.